YOU can be your own worst critic. YOU can be the one person who self-sabotages something in your future from occurring. What would your life look like if you actually treated yourself the way you would treat others you loved?

We all have times where we self-sabotage ourselves and become our own worst critic. Do you want a plain ordinary life or an extraordinary life? What is it that is holding you back? Maybe you don’t even know. Isn’t it time that you get to the root of it? Imagine what your life would look like if you uncovered what was holding you back and stepped into a space where nothing was standing in your way? What would you create for yourself? It’s all in the way you talk to yourself if you can or cannot achieve something in your future. Isn’t it time for you to believe and love YOU? STOP being your own worst critic! YOU are deserving of everything!

Finding Self-Love

How do you talk to yourself when things get hard for you? Do you brush things off and let them go or do you talk negatively to yourself self sabotaging your future? What do you say to YOU in your head? Do you call yourself names such as stupid, worthless, pathetic, etc. or do you give yourself the respect and patience you deserve? Are you able to pick yourself up and try again or do you give up after the first try? Do you scan your emotions to see how you are feeling and observe them instead of become them?

Take a moment to think of a time something happened in your life that was over before it began because of the low expectations you had. Can you recall what the event was? How did you feel? What did you tell yourself after you didn’t succeed? Did you try again or did you give up? After you jot down your story and results see if you self-sabotaged yourself. If yes, let’s come up with ways to change how you talk to yourself.

An Example of my own personal Self Sabotage

I graduated from law school in 2002 and began studying for the Bar examination in both NY and MA in order to become an active, certified attorney able to practice in both states. I studied for this exam all day and night for months to make sure I passed with flying colors. While studying for the exam, I formed a clear image in my head of myself failing and could vividly feel the pain. I was so exhausted from all the late nights studying that I had to drink Red Bulls to stay awake (so gross!). I recall driving back to Boston after taking the NY portion of the exam. I stopped at a rest stop on the MA Pike, sat at a table outside, put my head down on my arms and fell asleep. I made it through the entire bar exam in both NJ and MA and I recall sobbing after it fearing I failed.

A few anxious months later, my results finally came in the mail. I can clearly picture that day. I remember wearing a red shirt, standing in the middle of my family room with trembling hands as I opened up the envelope. My eyes began to cloud up and sweat poured down my head as I reached into the envelope. As I began to pull out the letter I scanned the page for the results already pictured in my head as the word “FAILED”. As my eyes scanned the page they finally found what they feared the most. In big giant letters at the bottom of the page was the word “FAILED”. I recall dropping the paper and curling up in a big sobbing ball thinking my world ended. The next day I came down with Mono because I put so much pressure on myself. I continued taking the exam and passed. Looking back now I can see that I clearly had self-sabotaged myself before I even began the test. I was my own worst enemy!

My Advice to Stop Self-Sabotage

Once you become aware that you have been self-sabotaging yourself based on past experiences and stories from when you were younger, you are able to notice what you say to yourself and can change those words with positive affirmations. Instead of saying “I can never pass this exam as its too hard” we can change it to “I am prepared and confident for this exam and I will pass.” What you say to yourself can ultimately guide you towards what you want or stop you before you get started. How can you change your negative self-talk to positive self-talk? When you notice the way you speak to yourself that is when you can shift into the self-love.

Recognizing the cues of self-sabotage and having the tools in place to turn it around can keep you on track with reaching your goals and dreams. Remember the power of treating yourself as you would treat someone you love. You are your own best friend. It’s time to start being great to YOU. Isn’t it time YOU have got your back!?!

Create a new story!

With Much gratitude,



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